847 Pages of Pure Perfection

847 Pages of Pure Perfection


Of course, they're blank.

But that's why we're here! You'll solve this in no time, right!?

Sample Covers from Our Successful Alumni


Well, actually, these covers were created by our students in that other course, "How to Write Your Worst Book Ever."

We don't actually have any graduates yet of the "Best Book Ever" because no one in their right mind would ever join such a ridiculous endeavor but as soon as we do, we'll get their covers up here, too!

Kill All the Squirrels
Squirrel!

Susan de Vriend's masterpiece goes from one subject to the next without any care nor concern for the reader's challenges with Shiny Object Syndrome (SOS). If you struggle with SOS, grab this book, take aim, and kill all the squirrels!


If you're not familiar with the squirrels, you'll soon be infested with platoons of the pesky rodents as you pore over your pathetic prose.

Perfectionist Purgatory
Perfectionist Purgatory

Sarah Sienkiewicz's debut disaster dissects the dreadful dilemma of deferring our dreams due to that most dastardly of devils: perfectionism.


Sarah was recruited while she was a student of the "WBE" challenge and is now looking over BBE students' shoulders every second of their waking life just waiting to pounce on any poor performance towards perfection.

Be at War With Yourself, Constantly
Oh, this sounds fun

Hey, this book is actually relevant to you, dear potential "Best Book Ever" student because this is exactly what it's going to be like forcing yourself to try to write only perfect prose, wait, how often? Constantly.


Josta has recently been hired full-time by BBE to make sure all students are suffering on a consistent basis.

Curriculum

I'd bet good money you don't get past part one.

  Welcome!
Available in days
days after you enroll
  Part 1 | Procrastinate
Available in days
days after you enroll
  Part 2 | Prose
Available in days
days after you enroll
  Part 3 | Polish
Available in days
days after you enroll
  Part 4 | Publish
Available in days
days after you enroll
  Part 5 | Pout
Available in days
days after you enroll
  Part 6 | Pulverize
Available in days
days after you enroll

Before "BBE"

This is the visual of what you think the BBE course will be like.

So happy, carefree. Ah, the apples in the basket, the fall colors on the trees, the flowers.

Yeah, enjoy this feeling before you sign up.

Before "BBE"
After "BBE"

After "BBE"

We have a full psychiatry team on staff to help you recover from the trauma of shooting for perfection and accepting nothing less.

Operators are also standing by to take your calls of desperation on our 24-hour hotline at 1-900-YOU-LOST.

Please note there will be a small $74 per minute fee for these calls, you'll see it on your phone bill in 6 months under "You Thought You'd Get Famous Quick LLC."

But hey, look on the bright side! Just like the overly happy woman above, at least you're still barefoot and have a book in your hands!

Not Gonna Happen

Choose a Pain Preference

The course is going to hurt enough, why pay anything at all?


FREE

Write Your Best Book Ever

It's going to painful, you'll have to be patient, but it will be perfect!

Maybe you skipped over that silly "Write Your Worst Book Ever" challenge and got right here to the REAL THING!


Let's make your first book your best book!

12 payments of €2.914.673/month

The "You won't last a year anyway" Payment Plan

Who cares what it costs!? It's not going to work anyway.

Whatever you do, don't sign up for this payment plan. There's a 100% free option right around here somewhere...

€213.469/month

The "Perpetual Pain" Plan

Just to rub it in on a monthly basis that you're not getting anything done.

This one goes on forever. Just like you will if you actually sign up for this and not with the brilliant choice of WBE. Just saying.

This is a subscription product billed on a monthly basis until you cancel. Cancel anytime from the account management page.